mothering in the matrix: everything is a story

I won't pretend to know the secret to life. Or much of anything, really. In fact, the more I learn the less I realize I know. It's kind of liberating, actually. 

That said, I will share my experiences and perspectives (which change often) on mothering in present time because there really is just so much to unpack. A lot of it has to do with getting off autopilot.

I’ll (try to) keep these short and sweet. 

These posts are written for the woman who is looking around wondering “this can’t be it, can it?". The chronic dis-ease, the wildly toxic politics, the school system’s foundation, a deeply concerning food system, the conventional western version of “medicine”. Don't even get me started about the conventional birth system. 

These are for the woman who knows that the conventional “American dream” is a (terrible) illusion, feels physically ill when they think about leading their kids through said system, but hasn’t yet discovered her way of getting from A to B. From looking around and knowing her current reality is not a match, to moving toward something that feels deeply aligned, mainstream be damned. 

And yet, it can feel so uncomfortable to break with the mainstream, especially when our friends, family, community are subscribing to a modernly acceptable way of living. 

We have a primal need to belong, and we also have a primal need to authentically express our uniqueness. Everyone is different, my experience is that the need for belonging often supersedes authenticity. Breaking with that belonging can quite literally feel like death. 

To create a more aligned life, especially while growing a family, requires a balancing of the two. Authentic expression while attracting or aligning to new ways of belonging. 

So where to begin? 

First, recognize the path is not linear. Not much is. Accepting this makes things a whole lot more flow-y. (And after spending more time than I'd like to admit in a non flow-y state, I quite like flow-y.) 

Next, and this one is important. Like, REALLY important. 

Everything is a story.

The first time I heard this concept was in 2018. It was my first guided psychedelic experience and the guide gave a talk beforehand, weaving this simple (and profound) concept throughout. 

When I heard it? Did not get it. Everything is a story? Like books? I hate fiction, so this just not going to jive for me. Kind of went over my head and was accompanied by a small eye roll (pre-psychedelics, that is). 

And over the last eight years this concept has continued to unfold, unravel, and sink deeper into my consciousness. 

My experience is that understanding this in both the mind and the body is the prerequisite to everything else. It’s the seed of creation. 

That’s all for now. 

Has this landed for you yet? 

It can help to start by exploring the texture of a story. 

Sure, grab a journal and a pen. But consider dancing naked outside instead. Drawing. Singing sounds. Screaming as loud as you possibly can into a pillow. I don't know. Something different. 

Enjoy.  

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